Boring grown up topic - dealing with stressed out people!

Hey guys:

WARNING BORING ADULT WORK QUESTION!!!

You all come from a variety of backgrounds and I'd love your opinion, especially Babywhatsyoursin (given her experience in the healthcare field).

I'm getting ready to walk into a minefield where I have to deliver difficult news to several extremely emotional people. I've already heard there have been actual screaming and yelling blowouts. The idea of screaming at someone at work is outrageous to me (I know it happens - just putting myself in the shoes of the person doing the screaming is hard, because to me that's an utter social taboo). My responsibility is to re-establish order, calm and focus the individuals and send a message that while we care, we really need people to buckle down and perform at a higher level.

These people know me (I used to be their direct manager) but I have been out of the picture for about 6 months and they've had little guidance/management from their current manager.

What would Team Quinlan do? Anyone's thoughts are welcome. We've all had to deal with rough situations, even if it's just a brother or sister or friend.

Minefield? Wait, what do you do? o.o
Team Quinlan faces anything and everything head on! <3

I think you might have to get these people in a one on one away from a crowded area and try to have a calm conversation..

Ugh. Sounds like fun.

Is the topic either the same or related to past screaming matches?

So here's the thing... in my case, when I'm in full-blown nurse ratched mode and faced with a difficult situation, I find a way to legally justify whatever actions I need to take in order to maintain a safe environment- whether for the patient involved or others nearby. Also- I am not a nurse manager, and I don't run charge on the floor. Depending on the subject I find it best to not only bring another person in with you to act as moral support but also a witness to anything that may be said/happen.

No matter how pissed I may get (and there are definitely people out there who just got A+++ marks on their 'pushing buttons' exams), I always maintain control. I've found that in many cases rising to that level of agitation just leads to this awful snowball effect. So- screaming will get you nowhere with me (and FYI sir- I've been called worse). You can speak to me calmly, levelly, or not at all- I will come back later (or I'll just call security if you want to start throwing the equipment, your choice ).

Yes, I understand the situation sucks. I am here for you. I validate your feelings, because you're right: it isn't fair. But because of reasons A, B, and C we need to make changes D, E and F or else something undesirable will probably happen. And it will effect you too- maybe via raises, equipment, etc. Most of the time I try to give about two options, a bit of psychology- both options I can deal with, and it gives people some semblance of control. So while I don't know what your particular situation is, maybe making a few plans and giving them the choice- we need to make a change, what do you think will work better type things.

Furthermore, I'd imagine that in your case it would be easier for these people to operate under more functional guidelines rather than, say, find another job nowadays.

Like I said, though, it's easier for me in many ways because I have backup via higher ups and security when I need it. Also, haldol.

Hopefully this helps a little...

I really appreciate that you took the time to read my plea and respond. It does help. I got a little distance from it today and had some decent interactions with my management who are supportive in helping me turn this hot mess around.

After reading Baby's response above I consider myself fortunate nobody's throwing anything or getting physically into it. I work in an office. Everyone's just burnt out and habitually passive-aggressive, haha <weeping>.

I love the idea of giving them some options. Hadn't thought of framing my approach that way. I grew up in a "just do it" kind of environment and I forget a lot of people don't respond to that well. Presenting options is not my first instinct. Good recommendation!

And yes, Majin, great advice about one on one. Neutral setting.

Thanks again, guys!  

glad to have helped you out some.

baby's response was waaay better tho,lots of experience there!

Eh, just cause I don't know When to quit typing doesn't make it a better response.

depending on how many people she needs to go through, one-on-ones may be better, and keep people from the feared shouting match. Also in my case I'm working in a nice semi-secured unit and can call security codes when I need to.

Then again, maybe the steam needs to be blown off, GD. I know you can handle it though.

yeah Goeticdisciple is a badass!!!

ya'll make me smile.

I have 6 people to deal with. Not too bad. It can all wait until after Memorial Day, as well. Some stuff might shake itself out between now and then (I hope).

And I doubt the screamer will scream at me. He got into it with another dude who matched his bad behavior and that caused it to snowball. I predict with me he will blubber. There was blubbering before. At that time, I sat across from him channeling Eichhorst before I ever knew who Eichhorst was, handing the dude tissues while waiting for him to cry himself out. Then we calmly got on with the task at hand.

And don't get me wrong - I felt bad he was so upset. I'm not a heartless biatch. But we've all got jobs we're paid to do so have your little cry and then let's figure out how you can be successful and earn your keep. Bottom line.

One of the sorriest realizations of my adult life was when I understood millions of adults are walking around stuck forever at the emotional maturity of a teenager/child. So many tantrums. So much fear - of failure, of change, of exposure... So much potential wasted. It makes me feel like I'm not living in the same dimension as the rest of the world a lot of the time.